And yes, we women are generally quite sensitive in terms of communication, and often capable of rather sharp interpretations… So, gentlemen, be vigilant, especially on certain subjects!
Navigating relationships can be tricky, especially when it comes to sensitive topics. There are things many women aren't ready to hear, particularly at the beginning of a relationship. To avoid hurting or making her uncomfortable, here are five things you should never say to a woman.
1. "You're too emotional."«
Warning, this looks like a disguised criticism….
Why, can it hurt us? … in fact, we take things very personally (maybe sometimes too much?!) but it's often a spontaneous way of functioning, and when emotions take over it's a bit of internal chaos… so in trying to calm ourselves down, this type of little phrase can on the contrary fan the flames rather than soothe them… being attentive, knowing how to understand your partner, and soothing them is a whole Art and a captivating Universe!
Why avoid this remark?
Telling a woman she's too emotional can minimize her feelings and make her feel misunderstood. It can make her feel like her emotions are invalid or exaggerated.
Alternative
Show empathy and understanding. Say something like, "I understand you're experiencing a lot of emotions right now. Tell me what's bothering you."«
2. "My mother did it differently."«
A RED flag means a negative judgment! Obviously, the ultimate comparison is with Super-Mom! So, you need to understand that if there's a comparison, it means you're putting Mom and Darling in the same category?… but we all agree, Darling will NEVER be your Mom, okay? (well, it seems obvious, but it might be necessary to write it anyway, otherwise it's time to reread Oedipus).
Why avoid this comparison?
Comparing a woman to your mother, even innocently, can be misinterpreted. It can make her feel judged or like she has to compete with your mother's image.
Alternative
If you have preferences, express them without comparison. For example, "I really like it when it's done this way, is that possible?"«
3. "You should lose a few pounds."«
Alarm! Is that a missile?!
Why might this offend us? Being a woman in our society isn't any easier than being a man! Because if you feel constantly judged by your size—whether it's your height, your muscles, your crotch, your car, or your bank account—a woman is judged by her qualities, especially her beauty, including her bust and hip measurements! If she's focused on her figure, you'll find her superficial, and if she's not, you won't even look at her (let's be honest, this might make some people cringe, but feel free to comment!).
Why avoid this criticism?
Making comments about a woman's weight or appearance is extremely sensitive and can seriously damage her self-esteem. It can make her feel very vulnerable and hurt.
Alternative
Focus on positive and sincere compliments. Say something like, "You are beautiful just the way you are. I love your smile/your style/etc."«
4. "You're so different now."«
Warning, this looks like a disguised criticism….
Why might this upset us? … Naturally, the (female) brain will look for the problem, because yes, this kind of statement is immediately interpreted as "I was better off before?!". It's also a biological basis to always see the negative side to anticipate the next action, which, throughout human history, has pushed us to develop and question ourselves, but can sometimes have a perverse effect of always seeing the negative… (doesn't it?)
Why avoid this observation?
Even if you notice changes, pointing them out can be perceived as criticism. It might suggest you preferred an earlier version of her, which is demeaning.
Alternative
Highlight the positive aspects you appreciate in their current personality. For example, "I really like the confidence you have now. It's inspiring."«
5. "We need to talk."«
Why, can that help us? bother? … firstly, a man rarely takes the initiative to start a discussion, and when he does, women are often disarmed, because if it gets to the point where the man wants to talk, it's generally to cut things short and abruptly… so hello anxiety before the discussion… otherwise, it's possible that he'll say something like that, but when he finally wants to talk, he can't manage it and postpones the discussion… and when he beats around the bush, in short, it's torture… in these cases, it's the one with the most «balls» who will take charge… and it's often the woman who will have to get her hands dirty!
Why avoid this phrase?
Just as with men, this phrase is often dreaded by women because it's usually followed by serious discussions or criticism. This can cause anxiety and nervousness.
Alternative
If you need to discuss something important, approach the subject gently and reassuringly. For example, "I'd like us to take a moment to talk about something that's been bothering me."«
Conclusion
Good communication is essential in any relationship, but how we approach certain topics can make all the difference. By avoiding these five potentially hurtful remarks, you can create an environment of trust and mutual understanding. The key is to address sensitive subjects tactfully and always show respect for the other person's feelings and perspectives. By practicing empathetic and positive communication, you will strengthen your relationship and build a solid foundation for the future.
Because waiting for love to come on its own is letting chance decide for us… What if we started dreaming again?
Also read: Tricky questions about dating women
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